Tales of the Marauders
by DobbyHasMySocks
Summary: A series of short stories featuring our favourite troublemakers, the Hogwarts Marauders. Sneaky, witty and mischievous, anything could happen...
1. Ambushed by Mops

**Hello fellow Potter fans! **

**OK, so this will basically be a collection of short stories about the famous mischief makers, the Hogwarts Marauders. Some will be epic trouble-escaping missions like this one, some will be totally random, depending on what I feel like writing :D I should be able to update fairly regularly, seeing as they're only short, so there's much more trouble where this came from!**

**Disclaimer: JK Rowling completely owns the Harry Potter series and the characters, settings, etc! I own nothing! (Except the entire collection of books, movies and various fan items!)**

**Now, enough of this, let the story begin**

"You said that there was _definitely_ a secret passageway there!"

The noise of urgent, running footsteps echoed down the stone corridor as two small black-haired boys came pelting around the corner. The one with the longer, messier hair narrowly avoided colliding with a torch and a rickety suit of armour, as he turned to his spectacled friend and scowled.

"Yeah, well, I was running away from Filch then, and it didn't _look_ like a broom cupboard when I ran past it! Give me a break, James!" he panted.

The other boy, James, rolled his eyes as he replied, "Fine then, Sirius, just because it didn't _look _like a broom cupboard didn't mean it _wasn't _a broom cupboard. What are we going to do if Filch catches us? Ambush him with mops?"

Sirius' eyes glinted, and James hurried to continue, "That was sarcasm, by the way, we're _not _going to attack him with mops."

Both boys were panting hard now, and they were still miles from the Gryffindor common room. Sirius made a few mental calculations. They'd been trying to apply Darkasts' Instant Black-Eye powder to the eyepieces of the telescopes in the astronomy tower before they'd been sprung by Filch and Mrs Norris, who'd been lurking in a nearby corridor. They'd thought the astronomy tower was a convenient site, as it was near what Sirius had thought had been a newly-discovered secret passageway. However, it'd turned out to be a less-than-convenient broom cupboard, and they'd spent the last few minutes frantically scaling staircases and cutting corridors while a relentless Filch pursued them. They were still at best a few minutes from the safety of their common room, and Sirius suspected that Filch might have disappeared a few corridors back, and would suddenly appear in front of them, courtesy of a secret passage that he and James had not yet discovered in their month at Hogwarts.

Sure enough, a few metres down the corridor, a frayed tapestry depicting the grisly death of an ancient wizard they'd probably learnt about in class began fluttering. Before they had time to stop, Filch sprung out, Mrs Norris at his heels. His face looked slightly disfigured in the flickering torchlight, his greasy hair looking even lanker. His narrow, shifty eyes glinted as he saw James and Sirius, stopped in their tracks like deer caught in headlights.

"I've got you now, it'll be down to the dungeons for you lot, I'll have you hanging from the trees in the Forest by your teeth…" Filch muttered incessantly as he began loping towards the boys.

None of the threats sounded overly appealing to Sirius. He grabbed James' elbow and towed him down the corridor, cursing. If Filch caught them, they were done for. They raced back the way they'd come, Filch's footsteps close behind. They hurried down a low-ceilinged passage, and emerged in an unlit corridor. James whispered, "Lumos", and a narrow beam of light illuminated the path in front on the fleeing boys. Sirius' eyes seized around the corridor, looking for something to save them. A suit of armour, a faded painting, a broom cupboard…

With a quick flash of inspiration, Sirius grabbed James' arm and towed him to the broom cupboard. He threw open the door, not caring about the crash that resonated down the corridor. He wanted Filch to know where they were. James looked at Sirius doubtfully as he stepped inside, closed the door behind them and began frantically assembling a collection of mops, brooms and metal buckets.

"We're not _really _going to attack him with mops and brooms, are we?" He asked mournfully.

Sirius grinned.

The footsteps that had been chasing them across the stone floors of the castle had come to a stop outside the cupboard. James and Sirius were deathly quiet, poised for attack with their arms full with a multitude of cleaning instruments, as Filch slowly turned the knob, muttering curses and various punishments. At the last second, Sirius cast James a mischievous look, and yelled, "NOW!"

Sirius threw open the door, revealing a very shell-shocked Filch. They only got a moment to enjoy the stunned look on his face, though, before he was showered with mops, brooms, buckets, dustpans, bottles of cleaning solution and the rest of the contents of the closet. Sirius yelled an incantation and waved his wand, causing the items to suddenly fly up into the air. Filch tried to pick himself up off the ground and run, or attack the boys, either one, but then the suspended items swiftly began to circle Filch, repeatedly bopping him on the head and sweeping his legs out from under him.

"Bet you love mops now!" A gleeful James called after Filch's retreating back. Boy both cackled with laughter as a particularly vicious mop continued chasing him down the corridor and out of sight, long after the other ones had fallen to the ground.

After one last triumphant call to a long-gone Filch, the troublemakers turned and completed their run, now victoriously, back to Gryffindor Tower. It had been an amusing night, to say the least.

**And there we go! They escape. OF COURSE, they're the people who give Fred and George a run for their money in the department of Mischief Making.**

**Thanks for reading this far, please REVIEW! ESPECIALLY, if you have any ideas for future chapters! I have a few, but PLEASE, suggest some more! The crazier the better :D**

**Anyway, thanks a lot, see you soon!**

"_**He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though…keep up with my news…check if I'm happy…"**_** – Harry Potter, HP POA, JK Rowling.**

**-DobbyHasMySocks**


	2. Just Slightly Hexed

"Hey, James, quiz me on this, will you?"

James Potter gave a sigh of exasperation as Remus leaned across the Gryffindor table, transfiguration book held aloft over the goblets of pumpkin juice and plates of kippers.

"Moony, the exams aren't for one and a half months…" James scolded through a mouth full of toast.

"-Which is why I'm studying now!" Remus interjected, thrusting the book in James' nose.

Sirius leaned over the table, grinning. "Moony, we're not all study-freaks like you. Some of us-" he gestured grandly to himself "-pass the exams on pure skill. Now, if you nerds want some interesting action, I'd suggest you cast your eyes over the far side of the hall, where our brilliant friends, the Slytherins, are peacefully enjoying their breakfast. For now."

Sirius had a slightly malicious glint in his eyes as he said this, which James had come to know meant that he was definitely up to no good.

"OK, Padfoot, what have you done this time? You haven't got a firecracker under their table again, have you? I thought you said you ran out…plus, that's old. It was hilarious the first time though…"

James stared of into the distance, a vague look on his face, as he recalled the Marauder's last hijinks on the Slytherins.

Remus, however, was not so amused. "Really, Padfoot? You're going to get expelled, you know." He lectured, looking over the top of the Daily Prophet, eyebrows raised unapprovingly.

Sirius groaned, and mockingly placed his hand over his ears. "Enough lectures! Just watch, you'll enjoy it. Counting down, T minus ten seconds…nine…"

James whipped his head around and examined the table on the far side of the Great Hall. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary; there was Snivellus and his slimy git friends, and the rest of the malicious, cunning Slytherins…

"Four…three…"

James suddenly noticed that Sirius had intentionally sat them in a spot where they had a clear view of Snape and his cronies. Suspicious…

"One…Blast off!"

Sirius was exuberant as an echoing BANG erupted from the far side of the hall. James heard Moony gasp, and his own eyes widened, as Snivellus stood up sharply, and then sat down again, his hands covering his face.

The rest of the students had noticed the commotion at the Slytherin table, and were watching curiously. Sirius was resting, arms over head, on the table, shaking with laughter.

James' grin slowly widened as Snivellus stood up again, clearly debating whether or not to run out of the hall. Mulciber and Avery, seated either side of him, reached up and removed his hands from his face, causing the entire hall to erupt with raucous laughter.

Snape's nose, already hooked and protruding, was growing at an alarming rate. It must have been twenty centimetres long and still growing.

James tore his eyes away from the spectacle, roaring with laughter, and jabbed Padfoot in the ribs.

"Sirius…what did you DO?" He choked out.

"Oh, nothing really… I might just have slightly hexed his pumpkin juice."

James snorted, and turned around again. Snivellus' nose was now the length of his arm, greasy and bulbous. He attempted to make an escape, but his nose put him off balance, and he teetered over. He rose again, mouthing curses, ears scarlet.

A bit further down the Gryffindor table, Lily Evans was watching the proceedings with disguised interest. James watched as her green eyes flicked from him and Sirius, to Snape, then back to him and Sirius again. Her lips were slightly curved in a supressed smile, and she raised her hand to her mouth to cover it.

Lily thought it was funny.

And that, mixed with the fact that Snivellus was stumbling out of the hall like a lopsided elephant, just about made James' day.

**Thanks for reading guys! Reviews would be really appreciated, even if it's just a word so I know if anyone's reading this.**

**-DobbyHasMySocks**


	3. Not Even by Muck

"Hey James?"

"Yeah, Padfoot?"

"Thanks for sticking through this with me, mate."

"No, problem. You'd do the same for me. You _have _done the same for me."

"I know, I know… I just realised, it takes a great friend to get caught in your muck when you both end up scraping toad guts out of barrels on detention."

"Muck indeed."

"I know, it's gross... not as bad as that time Wormtail spilled that Fouling Draught through the dungeons though, hey?"

"No, that was horrible. My shoes haven't been the same since."

"Yeah, they still smell weird… we make a great team, don't we, Prongs."

"We are the Marauders."

"That's us… you know, the other day I heard old Dumbledore call us the 'inseparable duo.' Kinda true, huh?"

"Not even your muck could separate us. I guess this proves it."

"Sure does… you're a great friend James."

"No problem, mate. I'm pretty much used to detention now anyway, to tell the truth. It's not like it's a new experience."

"We do seem to get into trouble occasionally…"

"Once or twice…"

"…A day."

"Exactly. This isn't new."

"I suppose I'll owe you one someday. Make sure you put it to use Prongs, it's not often you get favours from Sirius Black."

"I'll keep it in mind."

"You're a great friend, James."

"You too, Padfoot, you too… What do you reckon the chances are of this coming out from under my fingernails any time soon?"

"Zero to none, mate."

"You definitely owe me one."

**So this is a new style for me, please review and let me know what you think!**

**And I know this sounds desperate, but reviews are like gold to the Weasley family. Please?**

**Hopefully I'll be able to update a bit faster over the holidays. This is the only way I can let out my Harry Potter-ness while waiting for Pottermore to open. Is there anyone else out there who missed the beta and checks the site 5 times a day? Or is that just me?**

**Anyway, hope everyone had a great Christmas and has a Happy New Year.**

**-DobbyHasMySocks**


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